To serve others in our own home, church, and community may feel like a daunting task when you have young children. How can we possibly serve others when it feels like we can barely make it out of the house!? Well I’m not here to tell you it will be easy or that it won’t require sacrifice (doesn’t all service to others require us to lay down a bit of our own selfishness?) But I will say that there are still practical ways that families with young children CAN serve the people within their own home, church, and even community.
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I recently was reading Paul David Tripp’s book on parenting (which I would highly recommend!). In it, there’s a chapter about character building. The authors main point was that it’s not enough to just discipline, attach a consequence, and walk away. Part of our God-given role as parents is to build character and reveal to our children the things that we understand and see in them–the heart problems–that they cannot.
So this really got me thinking and pondering…I find that a lot of these heart problems and lack of Godly character stem from selfishness. It’s a struggle for me too to lay down my own rights, my own wants and desires, and look to see who could use my help, how I could give of myself, where I could serve others in a greater capacity. And so part of the environment that I want my children to grow up in is understanding that service to others is important BECAUSE God calls us to love one another. This may be a very foreign concept to a 2 year old (as should be developmentally) but setting that framework and example in our home is important because it’s part of my God-given role as my children’s mother–to teach them the ways that God has called us to live.
And so I made this list with young children in mind. Because I can’t necessarily serve in every capacity with a nursing baby or toddler who doesn’t have the longest attention span. But that doesn’t mean that I should sit and wait for “easier days to come,” because the reality is that life is busy and if we don’t choose to make even a little bit of time today, we are going to continue to struggle to make a little bit of time in the future. There will always be an excuse for why our own needs should come first.
So first up, helping at home! We don’t even need to necessarily leave home to set the example of serving others because we can love our very closest neighbors (our own family) by serving them! I placed this one first because I think that part of setting the foundations of serving others begins inside the home before we can take it outside of the home.
Some ways that children can help at home when they are young are simple and yet profound. They teach responsibility. They teach developmental skills. And most importantly they teach them to think beyond themselves.
Some things my littles are asked to help on a regular basis include:
- picking up and putting away their own toys and books
- putting their clothes in the laundry hamper
- making their bed (the best they can!)
- placing dishes in the sink (plastic ones of course :))
- helping to unload the dishwasher (usually I give them the silverware to place in the drawer)
- cleaning up shoes or other things that are left out
- helping to clean up messes they helped make (such as spilled drinks or food crumbs under the table)
- helping to set the dinner table
And many other random, helpful chores. For reference, my littles are 4 and under and so with age, this responsibility will increase to other chores that I feel are appropriate for what they can do to be helpful.
Other ways that young children can serve in the home are through helping with meal prep. They can learn to help pour the cereal or oats or chop veggies with cutters that are safer for children (though use your own discretion on this please!) or mixing or mashing materials together. There’s so many things that they can do. And of course they make it more messy than if you just did it yourself, but the beauty is that then you can teach them to help clean the mess up! And eventually they learn to not be so messy (hopefully)
Another great way for children to serve the family is to help with other siblings. This may be playing with them, holding them, helping to feed them, or reading books to them.
Helping young children learn and understand that the things of this world do not matter. As 2 Corinthians 4:18 says “as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” Their toys and clothes and things do not matter in the grand scheme of things. This is difficult for a child to grasp because they do not have the life experience of watching things “pass away” whether that be the sweater that eventually wears out or saying goodbye to a loved one. And so one practical way to help children understand this is to hold to our things loosely. This doesn’t just mean their toys but it also goes to what we fill our home with as moms and dads. Are we setting the example of not clinging to this world by the way we hold onto possessions?
And so I have learned to frequently go through our things and donate or sell what isn’t needed. Haven’t worn that sweater in over a year? Well then it’s time to give it a new home. And then I expect the same from our children and we frequently go through what toys or clothes they have. Do they have 3 very similar toys? Well then one or two of those can be sold or given away and one kept. I could of course do this in hiding when they are sleeping and just allow things to disappear (and that does happen sometimes) but overall, I want them to be involved in the giving and to understand that “this is extra” and “someone else could use this more than me.” because this is a way we can serve, not only managing our own home but also serve others by giving to those who may need things much more than us.
Speaking of giving to those in need, the next practical way that young children can be involved in serving others is through gifting to others. This can look and come about in many different ways. Maybe your church already does Operation Christmas Child each year or another gifting project of this sort. Let your child help pick out, purchase, and package the gifts. Talk to them about the WHY behind this type of thing. “Well there are little boys and girls who might only receive this gift for Christmas.”
Some ideas of gifting:
- Local Pregnancy Center or other drive for baby supplies
- Food bank or any homeless meal operation in your area (it may not be practical to go and serve the food but that doesn’t mean you can’t purchase canned foods or supplies to drop off and be used/given out)
- Missionaries (when they are visiting your church, ask what practical needs they have or whether some sort of care package system would be helpful to implement for the people they are serving)
- Homeless kits (water, food bars, toiletries, hand-warmers, etc.) could be purchased and your little could help you put together and placed in your car and when the time came that you saw a homeless person asking for things on the side of the road, you would have something ready to give them.
Now I know that giving in this way may not always feel practical. You’re raising little kids and they are expensive in themselves. You may already feel strapped for money. I find then that when we “earn” money selling toys or clothes (see above), we can use that money in this capacity. Or for that matter, it doesn’t have to be a thing where you go out and spend a ton of money! Save $10-20 or whatever you see fit from your tithe money and use it in this capacity. Remember that the Lord cares about our hearts and He knows what is a sacrifice and what is not.
The next practical way we can serve others is through meals.
Due to the age of my littles, we spend a good amount of time at home. And with that, my littles love any and all kinds of sensory play (here’s just one of many sensory activities we love to do). They also love when they are able to help mommy and can take pride in their work. I love this too…I want them to have strong work ethics and I really believe that starts right now at home for littles.
So we bake often. Banana muffins. Blueberry muffins. Chocolate Chip cookies. We save a few for ourselves to have a special treat, but then freeze the rest. THEN when we find out that there’s someone in need of a meal, I grab these out of the freezer to add in for a simple breakfast or dessert.
I also try to get the kids involved with the cooking of the meal. Whether that’s stirring, pouring, measuring, etc. Will they participate the entire time? Most likely no! And that’s okay with me.
Part of making the meal is then delivering it to the person/family in need. I try to take the littles along for this ride. It gives us a chance to talk about why this person/family needs a meal, whether that be because they are sick or just had a baby, etc. We also talk about how we care for others when they need help.
Finally, I want to note that allowing my littles to help to serve others not only teaches them about serving others, it’s also teaching them life skills! There are so many developmental skills that are being gained just by letting a two year old help in the kitchen. And as they grow, they will develop more skills in baking and cooking and cleaning up AND THEN this will help them when they leave home in knowing how to cook and clean up after themselves.
Sometimes we know people who are in need but not necessarily of a meal. I believe there’s a lot of people who just need a smile on their face and to know that someone has been thinking of them. Because life is definitely not easy all the time. We lose loved ones. We’re lonely. We can’t get out anymore because we’re elderly. We each have our own struggles. But what if we showed up for those people in their time of need? Maybe this doesn’t always look like showing up at their house or supplying a meal. Maybe this just means sending them a letter that says that we are thinking about them. Or a picture that our little one draws. Or a verse that is encouraging.
Can I tell you how much I love getting letters or packages in the mail? Especially when they’re a surprise. It puts a smile on my face and warms my heart to know that someone took the time to send me something. Could you send a text? Of course! Could you send an email? Well yes! But there’s something special about an old-fashioned letter in the mail.
I created these Happy Mail Postcards for this very occasion. I wanted to have something on hand that was encouraging, not only with my own words, but also the Word of God on it. I also wanted it to be something simple enough that even my littles could send them (with pictures instead).
These postcards can be purchased for PDF download (so you can print them as many times as you’d like). OR they can be purchased on postcard paper and sent right to your home to begin using for yourself or with your littles.
One time we invited a couple to our home and they were open enough to share with us that they were really surprised by the invitation because this kind of act was really unheard of these days. They were so thankful for the time together and thoughtfulness of this invitation. But really, I had no idea that it would mean so much to them!
There are many reasons you can invite others into your home. We don’t have a ton of space but as a family, we have tried to not let that stop us from having a “full home” for a few hours. Here’s some easy reasons to invite others in:
- a meal (it doesn’t always have to be dinner! Saturday brunch is fun and sometimes more manageable with littles when dinner means bedtime is too close for comfort)
- a playdate (this can be a mom inviting other moms in OR a dad inviting other dads in for a weekday/weekend get-together)
- a birthday party
- a cookout or campfire
- a game night (kids games focused)
So why do these things? Well I think this goes back to some of the other points we have talked about. In inviting others in, there is preparation that needs to be done. Littles can serve in these capacities such as helping with cleaning their rooms or chopping those veggies for the meal. But they also have to serve the guests that show up. If there are other children coming into their home, they have to share their toys, and show love towards one another in the way they play.
This also I think covers the GRAND IDEA that we teach our children by how we interact with others. Are we choosing to always stay comfortable within our own group of friends/people, or are we asking those who have showed up at our church for the very first time to dinner or the mom that we met at soccer camp for a playdate or whatever opportunity provides itself to be welcomed into our home? Our family unit shines God’s light in ways we don’t necessarily realize. Our families look different than others and therefore when we allow other families in to see that, we are not only serving them, but also helping them to realize they might be missing out on something (and that’s Jesus).
One last practical way that we can teach our children to serve others is by giving them a kindness challenge.
I think this idea is simple enough and teaches children to consider other above themselves. The idea is that you choose a person each day or week or however often you choose and choose to do a simple kind act without them knowing it was you. This could look like a child making their siblings bed OR it could mean sneaking a special treat into the lunchbox of a friend at school.
I think the great part of this is that the child is the one who gets to be creative in coming up with the WAY they serve. I am not giving them the idea or already showing them the way, but instead, they have the freedom to choose what to do for another person.
My littles are a little too little for this idea but I think this would work so well for young elementary students to really dip their toes in and practice serving others on their own. I would then have it that the child came back and shared with me or my husband what they did and for who but that we would keep it our secret.
I also love the idea that the child would not be doing this act for the glory or recognition of a “job well done” because the goal would be to keep it a secret.
I hope that this list does not feel exhaustive to you, but instead just helps to get those juices flowing. You don’t need to choose to do ALL of these things. Pick one and then go from there. Remember that we all are in different seasons and just because your friend or coworker or neighbor can handle doing lots of things to serve others doesn’t mean you are in that same season. I would encourage you though to not give up on serving just because life feels busy or it seems like it would be hard to serve others in these littles years. It is do-able. Just start small and do what works practically for your family. This will look different for each family! Remember that God has called us to love Him and then love others. People are more important than many other things this society places in high-esteem and so remember that the sacrifice you make is worth it.
What other practical ways have you served others with young children? I’d love to hear your ideas!
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